why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
