Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
