i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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