drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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