who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
