Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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