I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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