He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
