you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
