google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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