A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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