ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have post one night stand depression
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