He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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