i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
