Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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