You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
