is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Your penis caused this!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
