You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
