Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
