i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
