i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
