Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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