Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
