The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
