But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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