I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
