Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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