Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize