Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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