please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
