That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
