What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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