So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
