i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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