You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
