could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
