I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
