You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
