We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
