The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
