currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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