what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A bitchslap is in order.
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