you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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