I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My penis needs a shock collar
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
