So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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