Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
