whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
