oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
