it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
