her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
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